


Fresh in Town

by sannlykke



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Fluff and Humor, KagaKuro AU Exchange, M/M, Mentioned - AoKise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 01:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6932419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sannlykke/pseuds/sannlykke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Kagami thinks he’s got it all sorted out in life: he’s doing okay for himself part-timing at the tiny upscale cafe only a couple blocks away, has a nice (if occasionally terrifying) manager, and a flatmate who cleans up after himself. Kuroko himself gives him little trouble most of the time; his acquaintances, friends and clients, however…</p><p>Kagami hadn’t expected to live in what is essentially a private clinic when he’d moved in a little more than six months ago. A private, unlicensed clinic that caters <i>exclusively</i> to those connected to the Japanese underworld.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fresh in Town

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnieMantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieMantic/gifts).



> The prompt was for a medical au that I kind of ran away with and turned into a hodgepodge of something meant to be? Funny? Oh my gosh. ~~I hope it's actually funny and not awful.~~
> 
> I hope you like it, even though it's maybe not the sort of medical au you had in mind (;w;);;
> 
>  **Content warnings:** a bit of blood/gore (because it is a medical au after all?), kagami's potty mouth, offscreen murder of an unspecified, unimportant character (because it is a yakuza au too)

A wretched scream echoes from the room at the end of the darkened hallway.

Then, silence.

“Aomine-kun, you can sit up now.”

Sometimes, Kagami thinks he’s got it all sorted out in life: he’s doing okay for himself part-timing at the tiny upscale cafe only a couple blocks away, has a nice (if occasionally terrifying) manager, and a flatmate who cleans up after himself. Kuroko himself gives him little trouble most of the time; his acquaintances, friends and clients, however…

Kagami hadn’t expected to live in what is essentially a private clinic when he’d moved in a little more than six months ago. A private, unlicensed clinic that caters _exclusively_ to those connected to the Japanese underworld.

And so here he is, mopping up spilled iodine on the floor next to one of the most feared members of the Teikou-gumi while Kuroko tells him gently but firmly to not overexert himself over the next two weeks or so. The blond sitting on the stool next to him pats his (other, uninjured) arm sympathetically.

“Kurokocchi’s right, you know.”

“I _know_ that, Kise, why else would—ow! That hurts a fucking _lot_ , Tetsu—“

Sometimes Kagami wonders _why_ these things happen to him.

 

 

 

When Momoi Satsuki had asked him, a fresh-off-the-plane returnee to Japan after a stint in the L.A. dining business, where his commuting neighborhood is, Kagami’s heart had sunk just a tiny bit. Himuro had forwarded the ad ( _Sous chef wanted - Shinjuku - fully qualified, meticulous planning_ ) to him three days ago, and he’d given the number a call. Despite the weird vibe the guy at the other end had given him during their brief conversation, he’d gone ahead to the interview anyway.

“Uh, I don’t…” Kagami began, only realizing he really didn’t have to be so honest halfway through his sentence, “I don’t…actually have a place to stay in Tokyo yet. I’m kinda temporarily staying with my brother in Akita at the moment, but I can relocate if—”

“ _Akita?_ ” At first Momoi’s eyes narrowed, but then she clapped her hands together as if a light had gone off in her head. “Oh! _You_ must be the one Himuro-san mentioned then!”

“I—what? You _know_ Tatsuya?”

“Come along now, I’ll have Sakurai-kun show you the ropes,” she’d gestured at the kitchen door as a harried-looking young man rushed out and bowed at them. Momoi had winked at him then with a knowing smile (one that only later would Kagami come to associate with divine punishment). “And _don’t_ you worry _at all_ about the housing situation, Kagami-kun. _I’ll_ take care of that!”

 

 

 

Which is how he wound up here, in a spacious three-bedroom apartment with at least one occupied by a wounded nefarious underworld hitman at any given time.

“Kagami-kun, can you look through the cabinet for the big scalpel? The one with the blue handle, I think I’ve misplaced it.”

“Huh, when did you get here? …Right, scalpel…”

Perhaps it’s a bit of a blessing in disguise he’s come to once again familiarizing himself with all these instruments after that one horrifying year of med school that he’d done just to please his parents. In this case, all of this is for if he ever gets himself into a Situation, which is likely considering the people Kuroko seems to associate with. When Kagami first started living here, he’d been scared shitless almost every time the younger man would pop up unnoticed beside him, but that would prove to be the least of his worries once _those people_ started showing up.

Although Momoi _had_ told him Kuroko worked from home. After a bit of rummaging through the medical cabinet, Kagami holds up the scalpel. “Oi, is it this one? You got two of them, don’t you?”

“Yes, that’ll do. Thank you, Kagami-kun.”

He’d also become more or less accustomed to his flatmate’s strange, formal way of speech. Kagami chalks it up to all those weird novels he reads (he’d flipped through one out of boredom once), but it’s honestly kind of cute, in a way. He watches Kuroko walk down the hallway and vanish into the room, half-wishing he was better at starting conversations.

“By the way, Momoi-san called earlier when you were out. Restaurant’s closed on Friday, so you don’t have to go.”

…Yeah.

 

 

 

“So like,” he says over the phone to Himuro, “how do you tell if you like someone.”

“Come again? Slow down, Taiga.”

“How can you—“ Kagami can hear quiet talking in the background; _right, he’s still on the job,_ “I mean. How can you tell if you, um, like someone.”

“Is this about Kuroko-kun?” He can almost hear his stepbrother’s wry smile, and he tries his best to make a totally uncaring, noncommittal noise. It fails. “You know, I really didn’t set you up for this.”

Kagami rolls his eyes. Not that Himuro would see it over in Akita, _but_. “Shut up. I wasn’t gonna blame you, but maybe I should.”

“So you admit it.”

“Look, I don’t even know, okay? It’s just…”

He pauses, trying to find the right words. Kagami really can’t pinpoint it, now that he looks back, when exactly he started actually caring about his flatmate as more than just someone he shares an apartment (and occasional operation table) with. Had it been that one time where he’d knocked into the medical cabinet and resulted in Kagami taking care of him (and all the patients) for three entire days? _No, that’s when he found about the vanilla shake thing_. Had it been when they started going to the pharmacy together and Kagami would enter death-glare matches with the grumpy bespectacled pharmacist as Kuroko stocked up on his wares? Or that time when he’d complimented Kagami’s cooking for the first time and he felt the tips of his ears go red, or that other time when…

“You’re thinking about him right now, aren’t you?” Himuro chides softly, snapping him back to the conversation. Something that sounds suspiciously like glass breaking over his voice pulls at Kagami’s attention, and he frowns. “Or texting. You probably text him more than you text me. Not that I mind, you know. What’s stopping you, Taiga?”

“Well,” Kagami says. There’s definitely a barfight happening; he can hear the angry shouting already, coupled with Himuro’s almost inaudible sigh. He can’t help but sympathize, as much as he wants to keep talking. “Uh, I’ll call you later? You should probably go before some sucker gets himself killed.”

 

 

 

The truth of the matter is, _nothing’s_ really stopping him. Nothing’s stopping him from just walking up to Kuroko, (gently) grabbing his bony little shoulders, asking him _will you go out with me?_ in the most assured way he could muster, and then sweep him off to a romantic homemade dinner with candles and roses.

Nothing apart from the very real threat that the rest of Kuroko’s friends would take offense and chop _him_ into food for Tokyo Bay’s various marine creatures.

“Dude, if you let _anything_ bad happen to Tetsu, I’ll come after you,” Aomine had told him once, when he’d been lounging about being utterly useless as Kagami sanitized medical instruments. Any other time, he would’ve dismiss it as mere shit talk—despite his reputation, Aomine had proved himself to be mostly bark (to Kagami, at least) after Kuroko had introduced them to each other early on. Not that Kagami believed that’s all there is to him. “If Satsuki doesn’t get to you first, I mean.”

Now _that_ had been positively frightening.

“Shouldn’t _I_ be the one worried about getting hurt in the first place?” Oblivious as he is of most things, Kagami isn’t so stupid as to assume Teikou-gumi were the only ones with a firm foot in the city. The occasional severity of wounds he’d seen Kuroko have to close up were enough to make him want to quit his shift for the day. “I’m not his keeper.”

Aomine just snorted and propped his feet up on the dining table. Kagami gagged. “Like anyone will try with us around.”

That had been super weird, as if Aomine had been trying to insinuate they were his protectors or friends or _something_.

 

 

 

“You like Kurokocchi, don’t you, Kagamicchi?”

“…Kise, we’re in public.”

Kise sticks out his tongue at him playfully, and Kagami for a split second wonders what would happen if he pulls it out (that’s what yakuza do to snitches, isn’t it?) “The _Kiseki_ doesn’t count as public grounds, Kagamicchi. Not like there’s anywhere else around.”

Momoi is currently out back doing inventory, but Kagami can’t help but look around anyway—just because you’re seemingly out of earshot, doesn’t mean there _isn’t_ anyone listening. Besides, he’s all but certain this place is bugged. He shoves Kise’s order of onion gratin soup down on the table a little rougher than normal. At least it doesn’t spill on the expensive embroidered tablecloths. “Shut up and eat.”

Kise slurps his soup noisily (it’s definitely to get on his nerves; Kagami had never seen him eat so messily before.) He feels his cheeks burn as he swipes at the counter with a rag. The counters are immaculate, as are the tables and floor and _everything_ about this place. Just the way the _oyabun_ likes it, seeing how he’s the one shelling out money for the incredibly expensive rent.

At this point Kagami isn’t really _afraid_ of any of these assholes anymore—not on sight, at least. They were too annoying and too… _not_ like the yakuza he’d grown up hearing stories about. Which is good for him in that as long as he keeps his head down, very few people in this city would think to bother him. Akashi, though, is a different story.

“Aren’t you gonna let us help you, Kagamicchi?”

“I’m charging you triple for that—” and then, cringing, “ _Us_?”

“You know how Akashicchi is,” Kise quips as he daintily wipes his mouth with a napkin. “No dating people outside the family and all that, unless you wanna join the next batch of initiations. Though I suppose you’ve been here long enough he might let you off easily, no? Maybe he’d just cut off one ear instead of—”

“ _Kise, what the fuck_.“

The blond holds up a handful of miniature tapping devices and grins at him.“Don’t worry, I’ve ripped these off for the time being.”

Kagami wonders how many new torture methods Momoi would experiment on him with if he tells her he wants to quit.

 

 

 

“…That’s a little unsanitary, Kagami-kun.”

“Maybe you should hold it upside-down?”

Kagami drops the legs, heaving a sigh as he wipes the blood on his hand on his apron. It had been his favorite, but there is no recovering something so heavily stained by now. “Just for clarity’s sake, I did _not_ ask for _someone_ to bring in dismembered _legs_ to my house asking _me_ for help in _disposing_ it.”

“Whoa, did he just really say that?” Takao whispers to Kuroko, who shrugs. “I mean, it’s just from _one_ corpse—“

“ _Get out_.”

Kuroko watches Takao flee out the door (is he cackling?) “I’ll help you.”

“You better,” Kagami grumbles, pursing his lips as he maneuvers his body aside so Kuroko could get past the table. “Why couldn’t fucking Ahomine have been less messy? This is _disgusting_ —”

“I’m a little worried,” Kuroko murmurs as they slide the legs (which are actually quite heavy, despite not being connected to a body anymore) into one of those oversized, opaque industrial trash bags that won’t raise any suspicions whatsoever. Kagami reaches for the hand sanitizer and glances at him, confused. “You aren’t even asking questions anymore.”

“I don’t even _want_ to know anymore,” Kagami says, and it’s true. This isn’t the first time someone has knocked on their door at three in the morning for something—usually for Kuroko to look over some busted limbs or for painkillers; less often for disposal of incriminating items. He feels like he’s in some sort of fever dream at this point, lack of sleep bleeding into lack of judgment. “I don’t even know how you do this. Like, neither of us are licensed doctors or professional…body disposal…people, but like.”

“Those are called undertakers.” Kuroko nudges him aside, inspecting the cuts one last time before zipping up the bag. “And for the record, Kagami-kun, I did finish medical school. _You’re_ the one who dropped out.”

Kagami looks aside, the smell of blood and chemicals making him nauseous. “You know why I dropped out.”

“Yes.” Gently Kuroko places a hand over his, guiding it away from the trash. “I’ll go dump this then, if—“

“Wait, no—” Hurriedly Kagami grabs the bag away from him. “You’ll trip over yourself trying to get this down the stairs.”

“That was one time.”

“Too many times,” Kagami says quickly. Kuroko gives him a look. “G-go sleep or something, I’ll deal with it.”

“Alright then, Kagami-kun.”

If he really had to pinpoint a reason for all this, Kagami thought as he carried the double-wrapped trashbag down the stairs, it’s probably because he is alone. Tatsuya’s all the way up in Akita, his parents and Alex are in LA, and there isn’t much opportunity for him to go out and make new friends at this sort of point in his life. Gotta take what you can, Alex’d told him.

Though he isn’t so sure what she would think of him _now_.

It’s not until he’s at the base of the stairs when he realizes there’s another shadow tailing behind his. While it does gives him a start, he only sighs and turns around. “Kuroko, really, I told you to go _sleep_.”

“I’m afraid Kagami-kun might get into trouble lugging that around,” Kuroko says, all too innocently. Kagami would flick him on the forehead, but he has his hands all full right now. “You sprayed too much cologne.”

“How’s that gonna get me into trouble—oh. Fuck.”

He’d forgotten about the dogs that sometimes appeared near their place at night, knocking over trashcans and sniffing about. Sometimes Kagami thinks they were put there on purpose—the city pound surely isn’t so over-capacity they couldn’t come handle something like this, are they? He shudders as Kuroko opens the door for him carefully, looking around before signaling an all clear.

Kuroko doesn’t drive often, despite having one ( _exclusively_ for transporting of dubious objects, Kagami had heard from Kise). He much prefers to take the train, but perhaps it’s luck that’s deposited a willing chauffeur in the form of Kagami to this place. Quickly they shove the bag into the trunk and hop in.

Soon they’re within distance of the bay, and Kagami can see the twinkling lights of Tokyo illuminating the calm waters. Not many cars are on the road at this hour outside the city center. He taps a finger on the handle idly as they make their way down to the usual spot. Kuroko’s head is already lolling towards the window in the backseat, his eyelids fluttering every so often.

It would be almost romantic, Kagami thinks, if the smell of blood and antiseptic weren’t making him dizzy.

Opening the window on the road would be too much of a risk. He parks the car neatly in the bushes and, after making sure there is absolutely nobody around, rolls down the windows just a tiny bit. “Hey, Kuroko, you still there?”

No response. _He’s completely out,_ Kagami thinks, and opens the door. There’s an abandoned warehouse half-concealed on this stretch of the bay, where development isn’t so heavy and the land is probably entirely owned by Akashi Seijuurou. It should probably comfort him, but it doesn’t.

Kagami knocks on the door three times, yawning himself by the time someone answers sleepily. “Yeah?”

“Takao should’ve called ahead,” he grumbles as he hands the bag over. _Aiding and abetting_ , a voice whispers in his head, but he bites down on his lip and shakes it away. It wouldn’t be him doing this now if Kise had been in, but he’d gone off on some business trip that had left Takao all by himself in the shop when Aomine had come knocking to their shared apartment.

Not that Murasakibara would care about the details. He makes a face. “Where’s the rest of the body?”

“How the hell would I know?”

“Mine-chin should be more careful.”

“You can tell that to him, not me,” Kagami mutters as the door closes.

It’s only when Kagami is halfway down the boardwalk when he realizes his hands are shaking. There’s no blood on them anymore, but the medicinal smell makes him wrinkle his nose. The wind stings his face, and he wonders—

“Kagami-kun?”

“Gah! When’d you get out of the car?”

Kuroko shrugs. Away from the streetlights, his face looks even more tired than Kagami had thought. “I woke up and you weren’t there.”

 _I woke up and you weren’t there._ Kagami’s heart does a little flutter, embarrassing as it is to admit to even himself. Kuroko’s just simply stating the obvious. In any case, there’s no time for romance in a situation like this. He awkwardly ruffles the other’s hair, pushing him gently towards the car. “Well, I am now.”

“Is it done?”

“Yeah.” He opens the side door, prompting Kuroko to climb in.

“I’m sorry, Kagami-kun.”

“Huh?”

Finally realizing something amiss, Kagami climbs in along with him, shutting the door. They sit there in silence, listening to the waves hit the embankment. Scenes from every romantic movie play in a never-ending reel across Kagami’s mind, the beach episodes of every soap series Tatsuya had roped him into watching, Kise’s sort-of encouragement and Momoi’s knowing smile when she’d run into them shopping on a particularly good day, Aomine’s roundabout way of trying to figure out how Kagami would fit into this already complicated equation somehow…

Then Kuroko pinches his arm, and he jumps, his head connecting soundly to the roof.

“Oi!”

“I’d meant that preemptively, you know.”

Despite the rolled eyes and pushing that ensue straight afterwards, Kagami feels some sort of relief sliding off him, as well as a tiny, tiny pinprick of disappointment. He’d thought—well—perhaps this had been going somewhere. But he isn’t _ready_ yet, not completely, certainly not now, sitting in total darkness on a car parked in the middle of nowhere that had moments ago carried some poor sod’s pair of legs.

“I _should’ve_ asked,” Kagami says suddenly, stopping his tickle assault midway, “Where the fuck’s the rest of his body?”

Kuroko kisses him.

It’s a sudden, 180-degree change of topic, and at first all Kagami could do is stare, his arms frozen in place as Kuroko pulls away after what had seemed like an eternity. “Kagami-kun?”

“What—“

“I’m sorry,” Kuroko quickly says, climbing away. “That was too forward of me—“

“No, it’s not…that.” Kagami touches his lips. It had been a dry sort of kiss, but the feeling is still there, imperceptible. He takes Kuroko’s hand, and it is as soft as his lips. “Is this what yakuza do? Kiss each other after talking about murder? Kiss people after _actual_ murder? Is that what Aomine and Kise—”

“Oh, _Kagami-kun_.”

This time, he’s ready for it.

 

 

 

The next morning, Kagami rolls over in bed and checks his phone, finding several unread messages.

 _what the fuck did i say about tetsu_ , is all the first one says.

“What the fuck,” Kagami tells his phone. Aomine can’t hear him, but it makes him feel just a little better. Still feeling slightly disoriented, he scrolls to the next one.

 _omg kagamicchi u finally hooked up with kurokocchi?_ ヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ _congrats!!!_

_ps. aominecchi might send u mean msgs but he’ll get over it i promise!!!_

_pps. if ur wondering how i know momoicchi told me_

_ppps. ur late for work akashicchi’s coming for lunch u should come now!!_

“I did _not_ hook up with Kuroko,” Kagami tells nobody in particular, throwing the phone on his bed before his memories kick in and the events of yesterday night start flooding into his head. Quite like the sunlight that is streaming all too brightly onto his bed for it to still be morning, in particular. “ _Shit!_ ”

He makes it to the back steps of the Kiseki just in time for Momoi to open the door and haul him in.

“Um,” Kagami says, noting the unusually stern expression on Momoi’s face and praying to whatever gods exist that she wasn’t about to dismember _him_. “I can explain—“

Then her face broke into a smile, and Kagami could only stare on, just as befuddled as all the other kitchen staff were. “I-is he here already? Akashi? Are you oak—“

“I’m fine, Kagami-kun.” She fans herself briefly before steering him towards the cutting table. “Tetsu-kun’s already texted me about what happened, so don’t worry. Akashi-kun will be here in twenty minutes, though, so you’d better get to work.”

 

 

 

He gets a text from Kuroko near the end of the meal (and _how_ glad he is, that he hasn’t once had to interact with Akashi yet.)

_You doing okay, Kagami-kun?_

_Yeah, I’m fine_. And then, _Why’d you tell Momoi? Like I’m not mad but._

_She would’ve found out sooner or later. I just took the initiative._

_Right_ , Kagami thinks, smiling despite himself. He lades strawberry sauce onto a plate and carefully sets a scoop of prime vanilla ice-cream in the middle. His phone buzzes again.

_Sorry I didn’t wake you up this morning. Had an emergency in-house checkup._

_Nah, it’s fine._

“Um, Kagami?” Sakurai’s face appears next to him, his tone of voice worried. “Akashi…wants to see you.”

“Fuck no,” Kagami begins to say, but he catches Momoi coming through the door out of the corner of his eye. “Fine, what…what does he want?”

“Pay his compliments to the chef?”

Although Sakurai’s expression seems to indicate anything _but_.

Surprisingly, there are no bodyguards standing around Akashi’s table when Kagami comes out, wringing his hands after making sure his apron isn’t too terribly messed up. It’s only Momoi and Akashi in the entire room, chatting quietly about something he can’t quite make out. Then she looks up and waves at him. “Kagami-kun!”

“Um,” he says, standing awkwardly by their table. He’s really only met Akashi once before, and that had been at a distance. Up close, though the man himself _looks_ harmless, Kagami could practically feel the danger radiating off him. Maybe that’s just his brain making things up. “Hello.”

“Hello, Kagami Taiga,” Akashi says, smiling in that immeasurably polite way of his that seems to imply _I’ll murder you in your sleep_ underneath it all. Momoi smiles at him encouragingly, but all Kagami could do is blink rapidly. “I like your rendition of tofu pilaf very much.”

“I like Kuroko,” he blurts out, instead of _I’m glad you liked it, boss! Please don’t throw me into Tokyo Bay!_

Momoi’s eyes widen, but Akashi simply blinks back at him slowly. Each blink probably coinciding with another cut on his torso, Kagami thinks, but what comes next is unexpected. “Yes, I know that as well. Tetsuya has been quite happy these past few months.”

“I—huh?”

“I will be coming around more often, now that my business overseas is mostly concluded.” He reaches out and shakes Kagami’s hand; Kagami wonders what it would feel like if a hole opens beneath his feet and swallows him whole. It’s probably a similar feeling, he decides as Akashi turns to Momoi. “Thank you as well, Momoi-san. I see the wisdom in your arrangements now.”

“No problem,” Momoi chirps brightly. “Shall I bring him to the next initiation?”

“No need for now,” Akashi tells her.

Kagami turns and walks right back into the kitchen door.

 

 

 

“Your friends are still really freaky,” he tells Kuroko on the way home, moving his bag so that he could fit his phone better between his ear and shoulder as he opens the car door. It’s already smelling much better today, and he suspects someone’s been around to clean it. “…They’re probably listening right now, aren’t they?”

“If you’re in the car, yes, I would imagine so.”

“Shit,” Kagami sighs, throwing his bag into the passenger seat. “Anyway. I don’t think they want to kill me just yet. Am I supposed to be relieved?”

“Perhaps.”

“You pulled me into this,” Kagami grumbles, without much heat. He could hear Kuroko smile on the other end. “Oi, don’t give me that.”

“I’m glad they like you too, Kagami-kun.” Then, “Would you mind picking up some camphor at Midorima-kun’s place before coming home? We’re running a little low.”

Kagami breathes through his nose, revving up the engine as he does so. “Alright, alright. The things I do for you.”

“I can make dinner tonight for a change?”

“Nah.” It feels good, he realizes, them talking like this naturally. As if nothing had changed—and really, nothing _had_. Everything is simply a continuation of what had come before. He checks the rearview mirror. “You go deal with the patient. I’ll make omelets tonight.”

“Alright,” Kuroko says. “Drive safe, please.”

“Will do.”

He takes off, now feeling much, much better than he has in the last twenty-four hours.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Bonus:**

 

“I cannot believe they are making me listen in to this sappy tripe,” Midorima mutters, adjusting his headphones. “Do you want me to give love advice as well? Performance enhancement drugs?”

“Orders, Shin-chan. I know you like it though.”

“… _Ugh_.”

**Author's Note:**

> (once again i feel like i've written an au i might revisit sometime haha bc this was surprisingly hard yet fun to write? orz)


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